No such thing as love at first sight!

First off yall I’d like to start off by saying I stopped posting for a while because I wasn’t sure if I was doing the right thing by sharing my most sacred thoughts with everyone. My generation is so cut throat, and straight and narrow that they get one way of how things should be in their heads that doesn’t allow even the thought of a broader horizon! I’ve recently received some really great comments in regards to my blog posts which definitely made me feel better about posting. I never stopped writing though so let me officially say, “I’m back!”.

So let me just fill yall in on just a little bit of the recent things that has happened in my life. Two weeks ago I received a call saying my brother had been in an accident. I rushed to my hometown and later found out that it wasn’t an accident at all and a female friend of his had maliciously hit my brother with a car. I can’t get into all of the info about the incident because it is now an ongoing open case and I don’t want to hinder anything to do with the case. These events and so many others is what has lead me to express my thoughts about controlling one’s feelings.

First off when you are not in a relationship with someone you should NEVER allow yourself to get so emotionally involved that it allows you to hurt yourself or others. Not physically or mentally! Most often we meet someone and we fall for who that person is at the very moment. I have most definitely fallen to this in the past and I’m sure so many others can relate! You get so wrapped up and you don’t even realize that you don’t even really know that person. Your expectations rise for that person and that’s when you are in danger of being hurt because well you’ve surpassed the most important stage of a relationship. That is the “getting to know each other” stage. That’s why I don’t believe in love at first sight because how can you love someone who you are still getting to know? How can you honestly really and truly care for someone that you’ve probably only seen 25% of the real “them”. You don’t know their likes or dislikes, what sets them over the edge, or what annoys them most yet. All you see and know is what’s right there in front of you. I see it all the time. You’re around someone 24/7 and still you’re constantly finding out new things about them. Then sex comes into play and because you’ve taken something so sacred and allowed someone else to explore you, you’re feelings become even deeper. I’m not saying this isn’t someone that has the potential for you to eventually love, all I’m saying is this isn’t love that you really feel just yet. We all need to learn to love ourselves thoroughly before even the thought of loving someone else. I say this because when you really love yourself you’ll love yourself enough to really get to know someone before becoming deeply emotionally involved with them and most definitely not physically. That’s what I believe will keep those from hurting themselves. And YES, I say hurting themselves because YOU have the ultimate control over your feelings. It is you that allowed yourself to become emotionally attached to a stranger. It is you that set yourself up on somewhat of a see-saw. It either goes one way or the other and that’s good or bad. I can only speak on this because I’ve been there and done that. I’ve allowed myself to become emotionally and yes even physically involved with someone whom had I taken just a little more time to really and truly get to know I would have never allowed myself to form the mental or physical attachment to them. I would have been able to avoid the hurt that I also later felt once I actually got to really know him.

People need to stop jumping into things without the right foundation. Without a foundation relationships will never prosper. Building a foundation means actually taking the time to get to know each other. Trust me when I say if it’s meant to be it will be, but with time. Also, trust me when I say you will at one point find yourself maybe even forcing situations when had you’d just taken the time out in the beginning to get to know one another it could have been avoided.

My advice as always would be to pray. You’d be surprised the people that God brings into your life for you and you’d be even more surprised the people that the devil puts in it. I’ve only been in one other real relationship other than the one I’m in now. I honestly believed he was “the one”. I later found out that wasn’t what God had in store for me. Since, I’ve turned to him and he has opened my eyes to what he wants for me. No relationship is perfect but what I do know is if God is your anchor in it every storm will eventually surpass and your ship(relationship) will still be left standing in still waters. Zephaniah 3:15-17 explains that when God is in ANY situation nobody can defeat it and he will be the warrior that defends it throughout.

I hope this post inspires some people. I’m sure it will make others feel indifferent but that’s the beauty of blogs! They’ll be those that agree with you and those who don’t. If you don’t, all I can urge you to do is speak up for what you believe in. It isn’t going to make me change my opinion but hey it may put insight into someone else who’s border line on their thought on it.

With so much love,
Najah Re’

P.S. My brother is making great progress he has a long road of recovery ahead because of his brain injury but God has him covered and with his grace he will be just fine! Thanks for all your prayers!

Selfishness = Selfless

My whole life I have struggled with selfishness. When I was little I hated sharing with my siblings. Now that I’m an adult it isn’t so much of sharing as it other things like everything going my way. I was sitting here thinking about how having the “My way or the highway” state of mind is very selfish. 

Now I say this because as I’ve grown older and more mature I honestly try to be aware of those traits of mine that aren’t very like-able. I had lunch yesterday with a friend I’ve had since six grade. We got to talking about “the old days” and something that she said about me stuck in my head. She said, “Your confidence in yourself has always been what I loved most about you but what most people hate.” Now I’ve let that marinate a little in my mind. My first reaction was to say that I didn’t care what those people thought of me because at the end of the day they never got the chance to really get to know me. As I’ve thought about it more I realized that that thought alone is very selfish. I’ve maybe missed out on getting to know different individuals all because of what their first impression of me is and because I’ve never tried to change it. I have always tried to carry myself as a girl and now woman of high standards and self-esteem. Let me say however that by all means I feel more women should do the same. Society has deemed us to all “fit in” with everyone else and our surroundings. There are many things where I won’t budge or try to change about myself because those are the things that set me apart from others. However, my selfishness is one that I now know I need to work on. I do care what others think of me (TO A CERTAIN EXTENT) because in today’s time it isn’t all about you and never will it ever be. Other’s opinions of you mold you and your reputation. I’m a firm believer that your reputation will take you far in life and will get your foot in the door in many situations. For many your reputation is the only mark you will be able to leave in this world. Because of this alone I will try to be aware of my selfishness in my relationships with family, friends, boyfriend, and strangers. The last thing I want is to miss out on a potential positive and fruitful relationship with someone because of my selfish ways. I vow to be more aware of my attitude and actions and try to take different approaches for others to actually get to know the goofy silly Najah and not just the part of me who holds her head high and demands attention by her being and spirit alone.

I challenge you guys to really think about some of your own traits that may hold you back from your own fruitful situations and relationships with others. I also want you guys to remember however that not everyone will get you or your approach to others, nor will they ever understand. It’s ok though because those people aren’t meant to. We will never be able to satisfy everyone we come across but we will never know if we are able to if we don’t put a little more effort into just trying. 

With so much love,

Najah Re’

Knowing what’s genuine

So my boyfriend just woke me up talking about nonsense and never the less he’s managed to fall asleep while I’m left listening to his loud snoring. So I decided to use this time to reflect over this year so far. It’s already May, meaning we are almost half way through this year. Crazy right? Where’d the time go?!

At the beginning of the year I wrote down my goals and New Years resolution. This year I added to be around more goal oriented people and less drama filled individuals. I said that because I know when you surround yourself around people who are only focused on themselves and how to be better within, you prosper as well. You have to surround yourself around friends who are more than willing to support, uplift, and love you for who you are. There’s nothing worse than when you have friends who are everything but genuine. You’ll find yourself in a competition that you aren’t even competing in. They won’t be able to be happy for you because they’ll be too consumed with trying to be better than you.

All in all I’ve found that my circle is a lot smaller than it was in 2013. I’ve learned that God has different callings for everyone. We will all walk different paths. A friend will be there for you no matter your path or how different there’s is from yours. A friend realizes that what God has in-store for you isn’t meant for them and even if it’s something they want or admire they’re still able to genuinely smile and be happy for you.

Take a second to think about those friends who are always there no matter what. Now take another to think about the ones who are always there when something’s going wrong but seem to be ghost when everything’s going right. Realize now that those people aren’t your friends and never was. You don’t need them in your life. They serve no purpose in it. Ask God to positively remove them from your life and pray that they’re able to reap their own blessings by being less consumed with yours. Don’t block your blessings because you want what God has given someone else. It’s there’s, not yours. Be genuinely happy for them especially if they’re a friend and watch your own blessings pour.

With so much love,
Najah Ré

Coming face to face with the devil…

The closer you get to God the more the devil starts to show his face. Being obedient is so much easier said than done but know that there are so many blessings to come when you put aside your wants for his needs. I’m choosing to look the devil in his face and turn the other cheek because there’s no other power greater than God.

I’m a very emotional person and I wear my feelings on my sleeve. You have to know your weaknesses because once the devil finds them he’ll use them against you. A very good friend of mine reminds me all the time to not let the devil play with my mind. We have to understand the devil knows our weaknesses and he’ll use them against us. He sometimes puts thoughts in our heads to play with our minds. The result of that is usually sinning.

When I say know your weakness you have to know what’s that thing that usually gets you in the most turmoil. For me it’s my mind, for some girls it’s boys and vice versa, some it’s alcohol and/or drugs. Learn what it is and know that with God you can defeat the devil when he tries to use it against you because he WILL and already has. Rise up and overcome…

With so much love,
Najah Re’

Letter to myself…

I occasionally write letters to myself. Lately my life has had a little turmoil and I went back to read a letter I wrote in October of last year. It seems to be very relevant today as I struggle with the constant battle of trying not to control my life. I get so caught up in what society deems right or wrong and forget that I or no one around me has the ultimate control. I fasted from my cell phone this particular day to ask for answers. The letter reads:

“Wake up! Don’t be stupid. Don’t allow yourself to be played with. Ask yourself how everything so “right” can be wrong? Pray and most importantly ask God to lead you. Stop trying to lead yourself. Look for his signs as for what steps you should take. Understand that it takes time and patience to grow something real and if you are going to have that you can’t have it without God. Learn to forgive and always do no matter the hurt & pain behind it. PRAY! PRAY! PRAY! Don’t give up there’s a light at the end of the dark tunnel.

My prayer:
Just want to actually take the time to thank you Lord for everything. Giving up my cell phone, fasting for a chance to receive answers on things in my life that I need clarity in. With what next steps to take when it comes to school. Wanting a closer relationship with you. Knowing that I fall short of your glory but you still forgive me. Thankful for this life. Lord I ask you for signs and strength to listen and do what it is that you want me to do. When it comes to a relationship Lord just have your way and give me patience in all things to do with it. I just need to know Lord what it is that I need to do and how I need to go about it. I ask for peace and comfort in my mind and heart with whatever your will is. May your will be done and not taken for granted… Amen”

Okay so y’all as I read back over the letter and prayer I truly try to revaluate things that has happened since I wrote it. I’m so far from perfect but I truly can say merely 6 months later I can see my growth. I’ve learned mostly patience. Those who know me know that I have a temper and the other day I let it take control for the first in a long time. I allowed the devil to come in and where I’d usually stop & pray & distance myself from the situation at hand I did the complete opposite. Now I’m dealing with the consequences but I know prayer changes things. I’m still praying for guidance in my relationship but even there we’ve grown so much and have become so much closer than before. It’s just amazing how when you seek God he’ll send you the things he knows makes you happy b/c if there’s nothing he wants more is for us to be happy. Understand however that happiness comes from him and no one or nothing else. I’m still alive. I’m still blessed. I’m on my way to my destiny and I know it’s because of his favor. Don’t allow your enemies to triumph over you. Rise up.

With so much love,
Najah Re’

Life…

We tend to live in this make believe life.  Allowing our thoughts of what we want our future to be like to become the very thing that holds us back from actually living. We seem to forget that we have no control over life itself and what happens to us whether it be the past, present, or future. We come to terms with our minds and not reality itself. We allow thoughts and thoughts alone to dictate our actions. With every action there’s a a reaction in some way shape or form. We’re called to walk by faith and while we say that’s what we’re going to do, we don’t do it. The struggle daily to not try and control life. The struggle daily to simply just focus on the word and not the world. But then again, that’s life…

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I wrote the little passage above a few months ago. (I’m terrible at writing dates. It usually depends on my mood) Since then I’ve went back and read it a few different times on different occasions. I titled it “Life” because in my own opinion I feel it describes so many of my generation lives. While out for dinner yesterday with a few friends the Bible was the topic of discussion at one point. Now before I go on I must go ahead and say that by all means I am definitely not “qualified” to give advice on a book that I haven’t read through thoroughly or that I will NEVER wholeheartedly understand. I was somewhat taken back by a statement that was made in regards to people not having to live exactly by what the Bible tells us. Now as a woman of God I can honestly say I broke out in cold sweats simply because I didn’t know how to really reply or comment on that statement. I knew that a topic this delicate didn’t need as much of a response as it needed prayer. I played devil’s advocate a little and asked questions like “how do you choose what you go by in the Bible and what you find to be bogus?”. Of course the answers were very uncertain. I just want to say that we don’t get to pick and choose what rules we want to live by and which we want to brush off and ignore. I feel when we do this we are blocking our blessings. We have to simply try and live right in God’s eyes and have faith while doing so that even when everything’s going wrong God can/will make it right. When He sees our efforts rewards are reciprocated. He wants us all to be happy but so many of us are blinded by what we think our happiness entails when God has something so much better in store. We have to stop living for ourselves and live for Him. I’ve come so far but I have so much further to go. There’s nothing I want more now in life but to get it right in His eyes and not care about what’s “right” in everyone else’s eyes. I pray that someone reads this and chooses to stop living for everything else but God.

With So Much Love,

Najah Re’ 

Giving this blogging thing a GO!

Alright so I’m really not sure where to start so I’ll start with an introduction of myself. I’m Najah Re'(pronounced Ray), clearly the wrong pronunciation of my name annoys me so get it right people! I’m of the youngest legal age to consume alcohol, a student at the University of South Carolina (GO COCKS), and a lover of Jesus Christ.

For a little over a year now I’ve been writing down my thoughts and trying to keep up with what I guess you could call a dairy. I’ve discovered that writing has become a little threshold of mine when I want to get a way from the many things that go on around me. I’m turning this writing into typing because well it is the 21st century and nobody does that anymore. Not to mention its a pain in the butt when I lose it, spill green tea on it, or don’t have it right there with me when something pops up in my head. I haven’t yet shared with anyone my secret threshold so as I open up to y’all please bare with me. 

WELLLLLLL HERE GOES NOTHING>>>>>>>